A Personal Confession

I confess that I don't always trust God. I know, I'm a pastor, I lead congregations in worship, I even followed God's call to plant a new church here in Helena. But the truth is that, like many of you, I struggle with trusting in God.

I recently wrote of "Waiting" versus "Going," or more accurately "Waiting on the Lord." The foundation of waiting on the Lord to move in your life really comes down to trust.

While my mind understands that I must wait for Him to open doors and opportunities, my heart aches. It aches as I begin to ponder lies about whether He really cares, whether He really has His best planned for me, and sometimes even whether He really exists at all. It seems that I don't always trust Him.

Honestly, life is not great right now. We are really struggling to make ends meet financially. We are struggling to connect as a family. What is even more difficult at times is the feeling of hopelessness that overcomes me – it seems like there is no escape from our situation.

With all this said, let me assure you that I am not losing faith. I am simply acknowledging, like King David in the Psalms, that there are difficult seasons in life. There are trying times in which we are faced with a choice — to loose heart or to seek Him ever so diligently. I choose the latter.

You may know that in the last two months, we have been coaching/consulting the worship ministry at Headwaters Covenant Church. It has been a joy to encourage and challenge the team there to step out of the familiar and into the area where "the magic happens." They are an amazing group of people striving to be faithful to what God has called them to be in Helena!

At Headwaters, Pastor Seth has recently been speaking on the Psalms. And as you read through the Psalms, you can't help but acknowledge the heartfelt honesty of David's struggles in the difficult seasons of life.

Those are the times, we are called not to pull away, but to cry out to God. His promise to us is that as we draw close to Him, He will draw close to us.

I can identify with Pastor Jack Hayford who once commented on his lifting of hands in worship. Everyone thinks that I am having this amazing God-moment, and yet I am lifting my hands as I struggle, asking God to carry me through this next season.

As the Summer progresses, we will be making some important decisions. We must be moving on soon. I wish I had more clarity about where God wants us. I wish there was a ministry position for us already in the works. But one thing is clear, God desires us to take our next step before this coming Fall.

And so I am asking two things of you who are willing...

I ask you to pray for us.

Pray for clarity from God about our next steps, pray for God to orchestrate our next adventure, and pray that we would hear Him and be obedient to His calling.

I also ask for your active help in networking.

I am seeking positions in professional Graphic Design and Church Ministry. In the end, it will be one or the other that will draw us to our next location. Our desire and hope is that there is a paying ministry position connected to the worship arts where I can help a church move to the next level.

If you are not already on our mailing list, I invite you to sign up today. And while you are at it, feel free to leave a note of encouragement in our inbox.

KNOW OF AN OPPORTUNITY?

If you know of an opportunity that might be a good fit for us, please don't hesitate to let me know or to forward the following links.

Ministry Profile & Resume
www.esomething.org/ecpowell

Design Portfolio & Resume
http://ecpowell.carbonmade.com/

Powells Still In Transition

In case you were wondering, the Powells are still in transition. Our home is still for sale and we are confirmed that God has His next adventure planned for us outside Montana.

What is holding us back? We are waiting for is His calling and orchestration in our lives to make that happen. Over the last months, it has become clear to us that we need to land in a situation where we can survive financially. While my heart is for new churches and church planting, we have not yet found the situation where we could make a difference and still survive.

We have been so blessed over the last months to meet such amazing people involved in some exciting ministries. How I wish we could get involved and help in every situation!

But as I've been holding down from three to four jobs simultaneously since October, I'm learning that our next situation needs to be fully devoted to one effort or another. Spreading myself thin takes its toll on both myself and our family.

My hours at Staples have been cut dramatically and so I've even been looking for a more substantial position here in Helena, but am still seeking out positions throughout the Western states (although I'm not sure Texas counts as Western). I've been broadening our opportunities by looking for Graphic Design and Marketing positions as well as ministry positions in the Worship Arts or maybe an Associate Pastor position. Please be praying for us as God guides and moves mountains for us.

KNOW OF AN OPPORTUNITY?

If you know of an opportunity that might be a good fit for us, please don't hesitate to let me know or to forward the following links.

Ministry Profile & Resume
www.esomething.org/ecpowell

Design Portfolio & Resume
http://ecpowell.carbonmade.com/

Songwriting & Recording Lately

I've posted a few Facebook and Twitter status updates lately that I've been writing again.

While I've been immersed in music, worship, and church planting for the last 15 years, much of my creative efforts have been spent more on effective leadership, discipleship, and ministry rather than my personal love of songwriting.

I've been a songwriter, developing my craft since I was at least 16 years old. Even at that age, I was fortunate enough to gain experience performing my own original music at a small restaurant in my home town.

In my college years and beyond, I took it further by joining forces with another skilled musician and we formed the band Turning Keys. Our claim to fame was opening for Flock of Seagulls a few years after their heyday.

It was around that time I became a follower of Jesus and it took me a while to explore what that would mean for my art and identity. Of course years later, God has used those skills and talents while developing new ones in leading worship for His people. I learned how to play and lead a band in a live worship environment.

So with this break in paid ministry, God has stirred up those creative juices for songwriting again. I've been working on recording a few standard worship songs in the studio, as well as writing some new songs as well. While we are still mixing and mastering these, here are a couple preliminary audio clips I hope you enjoy.



Listen to these links and more at my SoundCloud demo set.

"Wait" Versus "Go"

During my week in the hospital in mid-February, I was struck by the thought of how easily we take our health for granted. I thought and prayed, "If only I could become healthy again, I would be able to do so much for God. I would seize the day."

The idea of standing on the sidelines has always seemed especially absurd to me, and yet I suddenly felt as though I could have, or should have, done more.

TAKING THE WORLD BY STORM

I guess I have always been a "take the world by storm" kind of guy and being incapacitated only intensifies the natural desire in me to risk it all for Jesus.

The biggest, most important steps I have take in my life have been steps of faith following Jesus into the unknown; leaving a full-time, well-paying corporate position to pursue ministry; moving our family to Helena, Montana, what seemed like the "ends of the earth" at the time; announcing our desire to follow God on an adventure to plant a new non-traditional church in a place where traditional churches thrive.

SEEKING THE NEW ADVENTURE

So now I look in retrospect at the last eight months since we closed the doors of Encounter Church. Andrea and I were sure God would open specific doors quickly and whisk our family away to another part of the country. The first couple of weeks we visited an amazing ministry, a new church plant in South Jordan, Utah, and we were sure we would plug-in there. I Skyped extensively with church planters and ministry leaders in Texas, Missouri, Massachusetts, Virginia, and California (not to mention several opportunities right here in Montana). In three separate trips, I met with a number of church planters doing amazing work for the Kingdom in Seattle.

• Met with ministry leaders and led worship at One Community Church in South Jordan, Utah — a unique ministry in a stronghold of the Mormon faith.
• Talked with Healing Place Church doing amazing ministry in El Paso, Texas.
• Considered moving to Springfield, Missouri with another church planting friend.
• Made an East-coast connection with Sovereign Grace Church in Boston, Massachusetts.
• Was considered for Area 10 Faith Community in Richmond, Virginia.
• Considered an inner-city ministry at The Pathway in Tacoma, Washington.
• Talked extensively and led worship for Emmaus Church in Bothell, Washington.
• Met with and talked about joining two other different ministries in Auburn, Washington.
• Been invited to be a part of starting a new church in Omaha, Nebraska with a friend right here in Montana.
• Made a connection with River City Church, another new church plant in Missoula, Montana.
• Began discussion with a church planter, planting Element Church in North Phoenix.

HURRY UP AND WAIT

From all these connections and more, we've felt a desire to go forward — but not yet a call. The pieces are just not coming together financially, geographically, or socially to facilitate that big step in to our new life adventure. Leaning on my passion and experience, I have been seeking to connect in some area of worship arts, and yet I have been offered positions in missions, youth, and discipleship. The cost of living has been an impediment in some areas, as well as the abundance of non-paying ministry opportunities. We've had to weigh a quality of life working full-time secular work and burning the candle in order to squeeze in some ministry. Is this what God has planned for us?

For eight months, we have been ready to "go." We have been ready to immediately follow His call. And yet God's response has been "wait."

How does a man of action wait? And why is it so difficult? I recently heard Charles Stanley explain that "waiting on the Lord" often means "trusting in the Lord" and vice versa. The natural man in me, the experience in me, the entrepreneur, the risk-taker, the adventurer, the barbarian in me says "GO NOW." But it even troubles me now that my spirit says "WAIT" — His Spirit says "WAIT."

A CROSSROADS OF TRANSITION

So here we are. Helena, Montana has become a crossroads for us where we've experienced much joy and pain. Like the apostle Paul, we are held back from moving forward. And as we long to leave, we have also become obedient to God's will at this time. We continue to ask Him for the grace to trust Him much more that we already do, to stay somewhat planted when we desire to soar like eagles.

So for now, I continue in my job in the Copy & Print Center at Staples here in Helena. I am interviewing for both graphics and ministry positions over the phone and on Skype. I am making new connections with ministry leaders and church planters in places like Missoula, Omaha, and Phoenix. If you know of a ministry needing an experienced worship arts, former lead pastor, passionate team builder, and disciple maker — be sure and let me know. It may be the opportunity that God is orchestrating so that He can allow us to go.

But for now, we trust and wait.

MINISTRY LINKS

Profile & Resume (Ministry)
www.esomething.org/ecpowell

LinkedIn Profile (Ministry)
www.linkedin.com/in/ecpowell

Encounter Church (Ministry)
www.encounterhelena.org

GRAPHICS LINKS

LinkedIn Profile (Graphics)
www.linkedin.com/in/ericcpowell

Indeed Resume (Graphics)
www.indeed.com/me/ericcpowell

Portfolio (Graphics)
www.deviantart.com/ecpowell/gallery

Miracles & Healing

For many in our local sphere of connections, you probably already know the challenges we've faced since mid-February — specifically, my health setback. At this point things are much better, so I am able to share with a positive outlook.

In mid-February, between working at Staples, applying for jobs, and investigating ministry opportunities, a seemingly small bump formed at the top of my back near my neck line.

I was checking out a friend's church plant here in Helena on that Sunday, visiting my physician on Wednesday, and landing in the emergency room and finally the hospital by that Saturday. That small bump had grown to become a painful 6-inch oval area threatening to unleash infection into my bloodstream. It had become a staph infection.

I was admitted to the local hospital here in Helena and immediately treated on heavy duty intravenous antibiotics. By Monday, MIRSA was thankfully ruled out and it was decided that the best course of action (although not my favorite) was to physically remove the infected tissue by surgery.

Within days, the infection was better and I was discharged by Thursday with large wound in my back/neck that was 7-inch-wide by 1-inch-deep. For three weeks at home, I received daily nurse visits to pack and treat my wound.

During my home hospice, I was unable to return to work and our family began to face a number of financial challenges for medication and insurance, as well as our daily needs.

We had immediate prescription costs of $600, our furnace stopped working needing $300 of repairs, one of Andrea's teeth had become infected and she required a $1000 root canal.

It was all too much. Both Andrea and I broke emotionally. As God often does through our brokenness, He was gracious to us through our friends, ministry connections, and a couple local congregations.

We were humbled and brought to tears by gifts we can never repay. And while we are still struggling, God continued to provided for us through some means we could never have anticipated.

After being out of work for nearly four weeks, my wound was beginning to heal. I was strong enough to return to the Copy & Print Center at Staples and begin paying back what may be about $12K in medical bills. At this point, we are still not sure what we will owe when all is done, but we are grateful that my Aetna insurance through Staples became effective just the Sunday before I was admitted into the hospital.

Now in mid-April, I am coming up on nine weeks since I first visited my family physician regarding the bump. Last Saturday was the first day that we did not pack and dress the wound and the gaping hole in my back that seemed like it could never heal has amazingly grown closed and is beginning to scar over. It feels like a miracle.

But perhaps the miracle is this — that God loves us, you an me both, to care for and sustain us regardless of our failures. He does this not only in times of hardship, but in every moment, through every heartbeat, and every breath.

2012 Will Be A Year Of Change!

It seems like a simple and innocent word and yet we naturally cringe at the idea of "change." No matter what state our life is in, we prefer the comfort of the familiar to the unknown elements of change.

Regardless of what they say, people seldom change unless the pain of NOT CHANGING outweighs the perceived pain of embracing the unknown.

You may or may not agree, because experience shows that people LIKE hearing about change and they LIKE talking about change. It tickles their ears, and yet, they are SELDOM MOTIVATED to it. Oddly enough, we were created to change. Every living organism must grow in order to continue – and growth is change. If we stop growing, we cease to live.

I am pleased to look back on 2011 to see constant change and much growth in those with whom we've connected in the Helena community. As we closed the doors on the adventure called Encounter Church we saw the end of some opportunities, but now new possibilities are beginning to show. We've been calling this time of regrouping since August a "transitionary period" for the Powells, but we know that 2012 will most certainly be a year of change.

Having been "released from Montana" and our ministry here, we know 2012 will be the year God guides us to a new place we can call "home." As part of that new place, God will guide us to a vibrant, progressive, and missional ministry that values worship, community, and life discipleship. It is this hope that is fueling us for now.

Make no mistake, change has been difficult for us. The opportunities to thrive in Helena for Graphic Design professionals are limited, for an experienced Worship Professional and Church Planter are nonexistant, and I've found myself work my lowest pay since college. Our search for our new "home" has yielded many possibilities, but all the pieces are not yet falling into place. It's taken much longer than we anticipated.

And so here we are at the beginning of a new and wondrous year. While we know it is not true, we feel a bit abandoned by God. And yet, know that this transition is a time of change, a time of evaluation, and a time of growth. So for now, we kneel at the feet of an awesome God, awaiting His orchestration in our lives, knowing that 2012 will be a year of change!