Monday, July 09, 2012

A Personal Confession

I confess that I don't always trust God. I know, I'm a pastor, I lead congregations in worship, I even followed God's call to plant a new church here in Helena. But the truth is that, like many of you, I struggle with trusting in God.

I recently wrote of "Waiting" versus "Going," or more accurately "Waiting on the Lord." The foundation of waiting on the Lord to move in your life really comes down to trust.

While my mind understands that I must wait for Him to open doors and opportunities, my heart aches. It aches as I begin to ponder lies about whether He really cares, whether He really has His best planned for me, and sometimes even whether He really exists at all. It seems that I don't always trust Him.

Honestly, life is not great right now. We are really struggling to make ends meet financially. We are struggling to connect as a family. What is even more difficult at times is the feeling of hopelessness that overcomes me – it seems like there is no escape from our situation.

With all this said, let me assure you that I am not losing faith. I am simply acknowledging, like King David in the Psalms, that there are difficult seasons in life. There are trying times in which we are faced with a choice — to loose heart or to seek Him ever so diligently. I choose the latter.

You may know that in the last two months, we have been coaching/consulting the worship ministry at Headwaters Covenant Church. It has been a joy to encourage and challenge the team there to step out of the familiar and into the area where "the magic happens." They are an amazing group of people striving to be faithful to what God has called them to be in Helena!

At Headwaters, Pastor Seth has recently been speaking on the Psalms. And as you read through the Psalms, you can't help but acknowledge the heartfelt honesty of David's struggles in the difficult seasons of life.

Those are the times, we are called not to pull away, but to cry out to God. His promise to us is that as we draw close to Him, He will draw close to us.

I can identify with Pastor Jack Hayford who once commented on his lifting of hands in worship. Everyone thinks that I am having this amazing God-moment, and yet I am lifting my hands as I struggle, asking God to carry me through this next season.

As the Summer progresses, we will be making some important decisions. We must be moving on soon. I wish I had more clarity about where God wants us. I wish there was a ministry position for us already in the works. But one thing is clear, God desires us to take our next step before this coming Fall.

And so I am asking two things of you who are willing...

I ask you to pray for us.
Pray for clarity from God about our next steps, pray for God to orchestrate our next adventure, and pray that we would hear Him and be obedient to His calling.

I also ask for your active help in networking.
I am seeking positions in professional Graphic Design and Church Ministry. In the end, it will be one or the other that will draw us to our next location. Our desire and hope is that there is a paying ministry position connected to the worship arts where I can help a church move to the next level.

If you are not already on our mailing list, I invite you to sign up today. And while you are at it, feel free to leave a note of encouragement in our inbox.
If you know of an opportunity that might be a good fit for us, please don't hesitate to let me know or to forward the following links.

Ministry Profile & Resume

Design Portfolio & Resume

1 comment:

karrie Henderson said...

Glad to have you back in California. Hope to see all of you soon!