You know you live in Montana when...
- Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor and combine crew on the highway.
- You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
- You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better." (The gasoline here sucks.)
- You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year. (There's probably dog in it, too.)
- The festivals across the state are named after fruits, vegetables, grain or testicles.
- People get a "To Go" drink from the local bar.
- You install security lights on your house and barn and leave both unlocked.
- You know someone who's lost their license due to a DUI and have seen their tractor or snowmobile parked at the local bar.
- You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
- Driving in the winter is often simply a matter of staying between the fence posts.
- You think that washing your pickup or car is a waste of time and money.
- You have never owned a vehicle that did not have cracks in the windshield.
- The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for High School Sports.
- You know someone who's shot themselves accidentally.
- You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Construction.